When we delight in our children, we act like God
Eager and willing to be present and loving
The examples of fatherhood in the Prodigal Son parable are built off two rarities found in men today. First, there’s the early hand off of an inheritance. An estate or wealth of any kind handed off while the parent is alive? Second, the loving sacrifice of the son’s father, dutifully and without anger, is remarkable. Most men don’t reach that level of kindness until much later in their lives.
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The man described by Luke, willing to split the shares of his estate so one of his two sons can head off on an adventure, was no more common then as now. The accepted timeline for an inheritance comes upon the death of both parents.
Estates don’t get divided until both folks are old, no longer capable, or dead. In most cases in our American culture, children have built their own lives and what’s left from their parents has likely dried up on nursing homes and medical expenses. The retirement funds gathered into nest eggs are largely to sustain elderly, and only get passed on to the children when parent’s days are done. The children get what’s left.
That’s not the whole story of the Prodigal Son tale for the modern family. This parable affects us deeper than our children's inheritance and equity of funds and estates. Abundance and nurturing vary in each family group, but at the root of every parent’s plans for their family, we strive to ensure our children are well cared for.
The father in this parable expresses an eagerness and willingness to be present and loving. There’s delight coming from the father, expressed to both of the sons. Mothers and fathers know about this extra feature of parenting. Our children need to know they are loved beyond duty. Our children please us.
The infrastructure of every family I know may have different patterns of work, play, prayer, and raising children. Those patterns, though, existed in this old story of the man and his estate, too. He doesn’t force them to love him. The example of his love is much more important.
The Prodigal Son story lives in the psyche of every parent who has experienced train wreck scenarios where children fail at making it in the world. Everyone needs help along their path of citizenry, employment, love, and community. Failure is an essential part of growing up. Parents who would leave their recalcitrant but repentant children out in the cold don’t know the more sustainable power of love.
(There are enabling conditions, especially in addictions, where being available after our child hits bottom often is a crucial part of a parent’s love.)
We all know about the folks who suffer terribly at the wayward ways of a son or daughter, watching distraught parents willingly spend resources and time to get their child back on the right path. The Prodigal Son story has influenced the behavior of welcoming children back home. In the case of the “good son,” a parent suffers differently.
It’s not the estate, the money, land, and assets that the Prodigal Son story has taught us. The unconditional love of our children is the teaching. We are moved to love the rebellious, foolish child and the overly scrupulous, law-abiding one. No child should be left outside the nurturing circle.
Much is said about the father of these two sons. The mother is not mentioned. I believe Jesus purposely told this story for the men. God knows our male problem. this is not a tale of a misogynist era. Jesus regularly incorporates women into his teachings purposely. The prodigal moves men to match the nurturing ways of mothers who naturally reach out. When men gather their children in their arms, the family fully mirrors God’s love.
Women, then, aren’t left out of this story. They can easily place themselves into the teaching. But it’s telling that men need to be the prime audience of this message because every mother yearns for their husband to respond as the father does in this scripture.
The prodigal son storyline follows Jesus welcoming sinners and eating with them, and the woman who finds the lost coin. Celebration and rejoicing mark the proper response to a God who listens and responds to the worried and lost. The response of Jesus’ parables always goes beyond the one issue, the central problem that people deal with. He has an incomparable way of driving a story home in practically every age, every home, and every person.
Our children will sin, and so will we. God bends into us with more than just forgiveness. The delight God has in us can be made clear to our children when we delight in them.
Read John’s new book, Frank & Ralph, a fictional novel about the retired Guardian Angels of Jesus, in Catholic Nutshell News.
Chapter 3 of Frank & Ralph, ‘Stares from Heaven,’ excerpt:
“In a very real way, Frank and Ralph were the only combinations of angelic holiness with a brokenness familiar to human existence . . . With trepidation, the angelic hosts watched Frank and Ralph.”
Paid subscribers (only $6 a year) get access to new chapters as they are added throughout the coming months.
John Francis Pearring Jr. authored Snarl, a novel about animal redemption, and the premise for A Snarl Theology.
Beautifully thought out and expressed, John - your old teacher, Ronda